How to Go Beyond Pronouns

Reviewing the Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children

2022-08-21 - David Redl

As the mainstream media has been catching on and making people more aware of the LGTBQIA2S+ community, there have been a lot more honest conversations about gender in all walks of life. From my own experience with the Q Centre at the University of Calgary and the many gender diverse people with whom I attended that institution, I became aware of the need to have these conversations and, more importantly, the need to listen to people when they speak about their experience with gender. Each person is the expert on their own identity and experience. Normalizing conversations surrounding pronouns and gender identity has proven to be important to my relationships with my close friends and family members. If you want to know how to go about having these serious talks, you will find Beyond Pronouns to be a comforting, encouraging, and a very practical guide.

I don’t personally have gender diverse children, but Albertan author, life coach, and ally Tammy Plunkett does. With the encouragement and assistance of her transgender son, Mitchell, Tammy put into words the many thoughts and feelings of allies of all sorts, but especially parents who wish to support their gender diverse children. Beyond Pronouns: The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children is informed by the author’s personal experience as well as conversations at Parenting with Pride, an information and support group she co-leads within the Airdrie Pride Society.

What I loved most about Beyond Pronouns is that the author is completely candid and forthcoming, even about the darker emotions and her own need for support that she experienced while supporting her trans son. Author Tammy Plunkett, having experienced parenting a trans child, is non-judgemental about parents going through the same. I also appreciated that the book is incredibly practical, with prompts for engaging gender diverse children in conversation and different parenting approaches tailored to different aged children.

Right from the beginning, it’s clear that this book is well thought out and researched. Very early on, Tammy even tackled the important distinction between gender and sexuality and why there should be no age restriction on a child’s gender identity or having honest conversations about it. Although targeted at parents, I think this book is an asset to anybody who wants to be considered an ally or just wants to know more about the world and the diverse experiences within it. Since I started reading Beyond Pronouns, I have found myself quoting and recommending it to many people in my life and will continue to do so.

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